Together Forever Vol.2
When I asked a lady recently what she thought about a tract I had given to her, she told me she was beyond redemption. According to her, her sins were so much that she didn’t think God would want to have anything to do with a person like her. How sad! But is that not the attitude that many of us display in our homes? How can a man and wife who took an oath before the Lord and before many witnesses that they’d weather all storms together … until death do them part, then walk out on each other?
Why is it that many see divorce as the only way out of their marital problem? I believe it is in a sense saying to God “our case is beyond redemption”. They’re saying, “Lord, please keep off this matter, it is beyond your ability”. What can be farther from the truth?
A Cross to Bear
Jesus clearly declared, “if any one will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me”. We all have crosses to bear in our marriages. Our ‘cross’ in a
marriage relationship could be anything. It could mean a brawling wife; an unsaved or unfaithful spouse; unruly children; financial problems, and so on.
Many of us avoid carrying our crosses with dignity and faith in God. If Jesus was willing to surrender His will in obedience and total submission to the will of the Father, what excuse do we have?
I read an article recently where a lady gave all sorts of reasons why she walked out of her marriage. The main gist was that she was unhappy. She said God wanted her to be happy, and as such she did not see how she could continue in an unhappy relationship.
Many times, I’ve often wondered at what would happen if God should give up on us, as easily as we give up on others. In spite of our rebelliousness and, stubbornness, God still loves and cares for us. When we cry to Him for forgiveness, He readily does so. Unfortunately, that is not the case with us. When a man or woman points an accusing finger at a spouse, they’re in effect saying, “I’m the perfect one”. The problem is with the other person. It is often said that when you point a finger at another, the remaining four fingers are pointing at you. Is it not human nature that we always want to blame others for things that go wrong in our lives?
It all started in the Garden of Eden. When God confronted Adam with his sin of disobedience, he pointed at the woman, and the woman at the serpent. Are we ever wrong? Obviously not! What a difference it would make in our marriage relationships if we just sat back and took an inward look at ourselves, and see how we can each play our part to make our marriage work.
Partaker of Other Men’s Sin
In 1Timothy 5:22, Paul admonished Timothy not to be a partaker of other men’s sins, but that he should keep himself pure. This passage has helped me considerably in not only my marriage, but also, in other relationships. This means, I can determine not to let the sin of another person rub off on me. Even if my spouse is not living up to my expectation, I can be determined to live as God expects me to live, making sure that pleasing Him is my priority. The point is, if God should judge us as our sins deserve, can any of us stand before Him?
Proverbs 14:1 says “a wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands”. This passage was a turning point in my life when I came across it over 20 years ago.
I remember drawing the attention of a dear Christian sister to this passage when I noticed their marriage was heading for the rocks. Rather than humble herself in the light of this verse, and ask God for grace to be “a wise woman” who builds her house, she argued with me. Her words were “it takes two”. Before long, her marriage collapsed, and her husband walked out on her and her children and went and got married to another person.
No doubt, it requires the efforts of two people to make a marriage work as God meant it to be. Nevertheless, if each of us determined to play our part as expected, then there would be no need for buck passing or unmet expectations.
‘Together Forever’ is here to encourage us to put Christ at the centre of our homes and to let love always cover the “multitude of sins” we find in our spouses. I have a little prayer on a card in my Bible, which I found somewhere:
Grant me courage to do right
When doing wrong or doing nothing at all would be easier
Wisdom to say the right thing
At the right time
Because words have the power
To help or to hurt
Faith in the goodness of mankind
Because living in doubt and fear is not living as you meant it to be
And most important, love,
The kind that gives without demanding
Supports without holding too tightly,
And understands that we are
All of us, imperfect.
Love is the Key!
Dear friends, let us remember that God so loved us whilst we were still bound in our trespasses and sins. If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
And remember this, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment, and he who fears is not made perfect in love” (1John 4:18).
Thank you for all your encouraging reports. Please continue to pray for me that I would remain faithful to the call of God on my life.